Well, we are at it again according to Jon Heyman of CBS Sports. Heyman suggests that we have won again, which we appreciate. According to writers like him, we are clearly having a stellar off-season. We did want to set the record straight.
Despite Heyman's claims that Prince Fielder went to the MYSTERY TEAM in this instance, he is sadly mistaken. As previously denoted, we would have loved to add Mr. Fielder's son to our team. However, it was not in the cards. The Detroit Tigers are a wonderfully run organization and are the team who have engineered this signing. We wish Mr. Fielder the best of luck at Comerica's Park and fine dinning establishments.
Also to add further clarifications to the article, we never signed Cliff Lee or Albert Pujols. Not that we didn't try, because indeed the MYSTERY TEAM tried. We hope to have future signings announced here on our team blog, team twitter, or team facebook.
-Mystery Front Office